Your Future Roommate




Looking for a roommate? So are these people!

Real emails from people who respond to Roommate Wanted ads... and the reasons they will never be my future roommate.

Share the potential roommates you passed on: yourfutureroommate@gmail.com

Re: $927 Roommate needed to fill 1BR in big 2BR apartment

Hi!

Your place sounds great!  I am a 29-yr-old non-smoking female with a degree in Art History, and left a full-time job recently to work on applying to grad school and putting more time into other projects.  I am currently enrolled in two classes at SVA, putting together a portfolio for grad school, and working on a line of jewelry, which I sell online and at craft fairs.  (If you watch the “Real Housewives” series on Bravo you are probably familiar with pet projects, but I can assure you I have nothing in common with those ladies!)  I am often at my parents’ house on Long Island to dog-sit (about one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer), and about one or two days a week to work in the glass studio I have set up there.  I would probably get a part-time job once I’m back in Brooklyn, for some extra cash and to keep busy.  (But rent will never be a problem- again, not a “Real Housewives” situation, but I’m set with savings, I have good credit, and could have my parents sign as guarantors while I’m in school, though that probably sounds a bit immature!)

I’m allergic to cats and not really into living with another dog, because my family’s dog gets jealous!  I’m into a calm, fairly quiet living situation.  When I’m home I do yoga, work on craft and design projects (quiet, non-toxic ones!  the glass work I do in my studio), and I really like to cook and bake, especially in the winter, so would probably use the kitchen a fair amount.  I’m really neat in shared spaces, so would think that wouldn’t be a problem.  I think my past roommates would say that I’m friendly but respectful of personal space and privacy and considerate regarding noise levels and cleanliness of shared space.

If you’re into looking at potential roomies on Facebook, here is my link: ______

Sorry if this was overly thorough- trying to cover everything!  Please let me know if this sounds like a potentially good match, and if so, when would be a good time to look at the place.  I will be free and in the neighborhood Wednesday and Thursday evenings as well as Saturday and Sunday.  Thanks for your time!

Sincerely,
______

REJECTED CUZ:

  • All the loud, toxic design projects at her art studio have clearly damaged this woman’s brain.
  • The commute to that sweet dog-sitting gig in Long Island would be hell.
  • There’s no need to apologize for being overly thorough, however, she could have been a bit more concise with a simple, “Hi, I’m a walking freak show. Please laugh at this email and never contact me.”
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