Hi!
Your place sounds great! I am a 29-yr-old non-smoking female with a degree in Art History, and left a full-time job recently to work on applying to grad school and putting more time into other projects. I am currently enrolled in two classes at SVA, putting together a portfolio for grad school, and working on a line of jewelry, which I sell online and at craft fairs. (If you watch the “Real Housewives” series on Bravo you are probably familiar with pet projects, but I can assure you I have nothing in common with those ladies!) I am often at my parents’ house on Long Island to dog-sit (about one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer), and about one or two days a week to work in the glass studio I have set up there. I would probably get a part-time job once I’m back in Brooklyn, for some extra cash and to keep busy. (But rent will never be a problem- again, not a “Real Housewives” situation, but I’m set with savings, I have good credit, and could have my parents sign as guarantors while I’m in school, though that probably sounds a bit immature!)
I’m allergic to cats and not really into living with another dog, because my family’s dog gets jealous! I’m into a calm, fairly quiet living situation. When I’m home I do yoga, work on craft and design projects (quiet, non-toxic ones! the glass work I do in my studio), and I really like to cook and bake, especially in the winter, so would probably use the kitchen a fair amount. I’m really neat in shared spaces, so would think that wouldn’t be a problem. I think my past roommates would say that I’m friendly but respectful of personal space and privacy and considerate regarding noise levels and cleanliness of shared space.
If you’re into looking at potential roomies on Facebook, here is my link: ______
Sorry if this was overly thorough- trying to cover everything! Please let me know if this sounds like a potentially good match, and if so, when would be a good time to look at the place. I will be free and in the neighborhood Wednesday and Thursday evenings as well as Saturday and Sunday. Thanks for your time!
Sincerely,
______
REJECTED CUZ:
- All the loud, toxic design projects at her art studio have clearly damaged this woman’s brain.
- The commute to that sweet dog-sitting gig in Long Island would be hell.
- There’s no need to apologize for being overly thorough, however, she could have been a bit more concise with a simple, “Hi, I’m a walking freak show. Please laugh at this email and never contact me.”
Happy Friday to you fellow Park Sloper!
My name is _____, and I’m a 30 something female looking for a place to live in Park Slope. I currently life on 8th Street but need to move out of my current place in July. I’m interested in the master bedroom, it sounds really fantastic! All of which is great, but I also really liked how you wrote the ad, it reminded me of ad’s I’ve placed in the past when I’ve had to look for a roommate.
A bit about me: I’m fairly easy going, like to laugh, am originally from the DC area, have a variety of interests and work in Manhattan during normal business hours. I work for a financially stable company, pay my bills on time, and actually have no debt! All of which I realize is a rarity these days. I’m not a huge party person, and I’ve had several roommates in my life all of which I’ve gotten on with very well. I like my home to be a drama free zone and a place where I can relax. I also do dishes and have no problem cleaning. Generally I like to live with people I get on with and can feel comfortable having conversations with in passing. I have no pets, I don’t smoke, I’ve never been in a re-hab facility of any kind and I don’t have “crazy eyes”. Adults and children of all ages like me!
If your around this weekend, I would love to come by and see the place. If you have any questions for me, please let me know. Feel free to call me at _____.
I hope you enjoy the great weather!
_____
REJECTED CUZ:
- “30 something female” ALWAYS means 39 year old female. With cats. And ovarian disease. I DON’T NEED THIS!!!
- Oh yeah, this weather we’re having is really great, ain’t it? What’d you think about the weather we had yesterday? Did you love it? I can’t wait for the weather we’ll be having tomorrow! Should be partly cloudy. Oh wait, this just in: looks like there’s a cold front coming. Oh shit. Doppler radar is showing there’s a 100% chance of you not becoming my roommate! Happy Friday???
Hi!
I was totally dejected by your posting, as the size of the room is too small to FIT my dining room table!! I have all the communal stuff from my last venture on the upper east side - which is NOT my scene - and I was trying to juggle selling it AND moving! But, let’s hang out! Maybe this is the perfect apartment for us!
I’m female but boyish - probably would turn the 3 person apartment into a straight 50-50 guy/girl split, and totally laid back to the point of devolving but, yet, i’m a biomedical consultant… hmm… I’m hard to agitate and quick to get over stuff. I was the ONLY person cleaning my last apartment - which got annoying - but I also don’t want to live alone. I’m from a big family and would be sad if you guys were hermits. I play sports, go to bars, take art classes, have a car and a flatscreen (which, you’d be surprised how much of a draw that is for people), and i’ve only played guitar hero ONCE in my WHOLE LIFE. so if i get addicted, it’s because YOU own one and have great solicitation skills. ;-)
I’m around the hood all night tonight after 6pm. Let me know if i can swing by and maybe meet at least 1 of you?
Thanks!
_____
REJECTED CUZ:
- The last 50-50 guy/girl split who lived here went all 0-100 on us. Three words: Menstrual. Fluid. Everywhere.
- I don’t want this boyish lady to be overwhelmed with sadness when I reveal—by means of an elaborate hidden camera series on NBC—that I am actually a hermit.
- I’d rather live with her oversized dining room table.
> hi there, im eric (25yr old) and i have just moved to ny, i have been a
> professional ballet dancer my whole life and am now a
> personal shopper at the Rockefeller jcrew!! I will be
> working 40 hours a week starting Monday, so I need a place
> to live as soon as possible! i would love to rent your room!! if it has not been taken yet i am free to meet you today and possibly take the place!!
> call me anytime _____ (I wont be near a computer for
> a while so please call if you can)!!!
> take care , _____
REJECTED FOR:
- Forwarding a response to me like I don’t deserve a personal message
- Thinking that ballet dancing scores points. For the last time, I DON’T WATCH DANCING WITH THE STARS!
- Yelling at me!!!
hi,i am a 25 y.o. Asian guy, doing massage. I would bring my male clients to my bedroom some time, if you are ok with that, please be sure to send me your contact phone and address, i will get back to u, thanks!
i plan to move in at Sept 15st, 2009, earlier date is possible. My cell is _____.
REJECTED FOR:
- Writing “u” instead of “you.”
- Improper capitalization
- Move-in date was not what I needed
- Oh yeah, he’s also a male prostitute!!
[via Stephen]
Hello,
My name is _____ and I’m interested in seeing your apartment for rent. I’m moving to the east coast from Los Angeles and I plan on going to grad school at NYU in September 2009. I’m pretty laid back, west coast beach bum at heart, but I’m in new York to make a difference. I was a finance manager for MTV and I’ve got headhunters looking for a new gig for me. Money for rent won’t be a problem because I have savings and a mother who is very well off. I know it makes me sound like a trust fund baby, buy I work for what I get so I’m hoping not to rely on her, but a safety net is good thing for all of us. My friends say I’m easy to get along with and I try to always be considerate of others. I always keep common areas clean but my room tends to be a reflection of where my head is at. I enjoy a quite night with friends as much as a crazy party…though the former tends to hurt a lot less. I guess the best way to really get to know me would be to give me a call so my cell is _____. I’m available to talk or see the apartment anytime.
Hope to hear from ya soon.
Cheers,
_____
REJECTED FOR:
- Coming to New York to “make a difference”
- Funny how he’s capable of managing the finances of a transglobal entity like MTV, however, he leaves the managing of his own finances to his mother
- Eternal joblessness
- Writing from an AOL.com email address
Hey guys, my name is _____ and here’s a few things about myself: I’m a young 34 years old and have been living in NYC since 2000. Prior to to then I moved around a lot- Vermont, San Francisco, Seattle, Alaska, Minneapolis, Ghana… I went to university in Montana and studied creative writing and sustainable agriculture. I’m straight and currently living with my girlfriend of many years in the east village but we are separating. I’m roughly 1/4 into a novel I hope to finish writing this winter, so I guess you could say that I’m a writer in-the-making. A couple years ago I began working in restaurants and that’s what I do now. During the day I like to get a lot of exercise, go to the park or gym and I’m a pretty big cycling enthusiast- I bicycle everywhere (I’m hardly ever in the subway!). My musical tastes are wide ranging- everything from the wu-tang clan to vintage reggae, jazz, old country and Frank Zappa to….well, I like a lot of different shit! I play a little music myself- guitar and mandolin. A lot of my friends are musicians. I like to cook nice food and drink tea and have a nice home so you can defiantly expect from me honesty, respect, good humor, cleanliness, helpfulness, and a genuine, kind, healthy heart. I do like a clean crib- particularly the bathroom and kitchen. I’ve got no problem with keeping weekly cleaning chores- I can get a little zen-like with that shit (probably stemming from my years spent working on farms!) I’m not a party animal and I don’t smoke. I make decent earnings so rent will never be a problem. OK, I look forward to hearing from you. E-mail or call _____. I work nights except on Sunday and Monday so with that exception daytime is better for a visit. Thanks, _____
REJECTED CUZ:
- He loves every genre of music that makes deaf people unplug their Cochlear implants
- When I called for a reference, both Farmer Joe AND Farmer Dan revealed he lagged far behind many of his migrant co-workers when it came to picking strawberries.
Hello, i saw your posted, today, while i was searching to get a room or roommate in New York, and i think i have to contact you since i like your ad. This is a little about me. I am _____, i am 34 years old, and originally from union city oklahoma. i am very nice, caring, honest, kind responsible, hard-working clean, reliable and social. i like watching Movies, swimming and reading too ….i am social, very passionate and i like to share ideas with others. I neither drink nor smoke, but dont mind living with those that do them. I am coming over there to have a change of life, and to take some time to write out a book i am working on. please mail back, if you consider me a suitable person, to rent your posted room, thank yo
REJECTED FOR:
- The literacy level of a common barn goat
- I’d prefer not to live with anyone who’s “very passionate”
- Imagined daily conversation: “How’s that book coming along? Oh, it’s not? Oh… so you’re just going to keep sitting on my couch with that tater tot residue on your silk pajamas?”
Hey guys! My name is _____ and I currently live at _____ with 2 roommates (sounds very much like what you guys have going on). It’s a great situation but long story short our apartment got bed bugs and my roommates (as much as I love them) aren’t taking it very seriously. We were fumigated on Saturday, but we think they may still be around. I swear I am easy to live with, but I have a very low tolerance for blood sucking bugs. :-) I’ve spoken to my roommates and they are willing to stick it out, whereas I am not (I am the only one who threw away my bed and took all of my clothes to the cleaners, etc - I really don’t want to keep doing this). So I am looking for a new place! I’m a 23yr old account coordinator at _____.
Originally from Michigan. I’ve only lived in NY for 5 months but I love Park Slope and a lot of my friends are here so I want to stay. I’m easy going, clean (but not crazy about it) and respectful. My current roommates are a 28yr old male and a 25yr old female so I don’t see any problems there… If there is anything else you’d like to know, please feel free to email me. I’d love to meet you guys/see the place. I’m looking to move out ASAP.
Thanks, _____
REJECTED FOR:
- Mentioning bedbugs
- Seeking refuge from bedbugs in my apartment
- Being from Michigan
- She’s covered in bedbugs!
